4-MAT Review- Nouwen

Nouwen, Henri J. M. Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life. New York: Image Books, 1966.

Abstract

What does it mean to live a life in the Spirit of Jesus Christ? What a way to start a discourse about finding oneself before attempting to help another. Henri J. M. Nouwen masterfully compiled the blueprint for cultivating ones spiritual life and letting it translate into true discipleship – which means helping others find Jesus Christ. I understand his thesis because many people fail to realize that most Christians – while called upon to help others – find themselves in as much pain and inner chaos as the ones who need help. Nouwen’s aim is to bring the Christian to the understanding that solitude in oneself is necessary, rather than living with the appearance of spiritual stability. This aloneness in the spirit is the seed in which spiritual maturity is born. As a Christian, many believe that accepting Jesus Christ is all that’s needed. The bible does say that “if any man be in Christ he is a new creation”, but many fail to realize that those old habits and old personality disorders don’t just disappear. Helping someone to break unhealthy habits and aid in transforming a destructive personality requires that the counselor’s habits and his personality quirks must be under control. So the first movement that Nouwen addresses is the movement from loneliness to solitude.

This term loneliness describes the absence of peace in the life of the Christian. Some need to find that peace by separating himself, not from the masses, but from himself. That type of loneliness converts into solitude. Solitude is when you are peaceful within yourself and because of that peace, you are able to be compassionate and understanding when it comes to the problems of others. The Christian needs this attribute if he is going to be a successful counselor. Once a person achieves this state in his spiritual life, he is able to translate this to others. Nouwen calls this state of spiritual maturity is hospitality.

Hospitality is that attitude toward others that says “nothing can surprise me, so come on in.” When a person senses this in another, they will be able to confide and disclose many dark secrets in order to attain the healing he needs. Many people need someone who is able to understand their pain and listen without condemnation. They need that free space to enter as a friend and not an enemy. Nouwen list three types of relationships that stems out of hospitality that everyone can be slated in: children and parents, students and teachers, healers and in need of care. All three of these relationships reach out in different ways, but what’s most important is the fact that all are responsible for each other and no one is without need. Hospitality is solitude put into practice.

Nouwen gave the notion that these two movements mean nothing if they do not produce fruit. The purpose of these two movements of the spiritual life is to lead us to the core of the spiritual life – union with God. This union is cultivated and established in our prayer life.

Nouwen painted a picture of what the spiritual life should look like. Once the seed of Jesus Christ is planted in the heart of the Christian, he must let the Holy Spirit change him. He then most exercise that change in his relationship with others which is a reflection of his relationship with God.

Concrete responses

In reflection of Nouwen’s Reaching Out, I recall an episode in my life that was closely related to what the lessons of this book entail. When I accepted Jesus Christ, it was an experience of uncharted waters. Being a Christian meant, to me, being perfect after day one. I never really grasp that fact that Christianity takes work. I walked around exhibiting a false spiritual bravado to the outsiders, but in my home I really didn’t seem to be a Christian at all. I’ve found out that the harder you try to put on a perfect act on the outside, the more miserable you are on the inside. Nouwen spoke about solitude – that inner sense of spiritual peace. That was exactly what I needed. It was funny, after reading this book, to realize that after all of this time I’ve finally found what I was looking for. I’ve always had a sense of compassion for those who is struggling with different problems, because my family is a hot bed of dysfunction, but I still felt that something was missing. People could tell me their problems and I was able to listen with a compassionate ear, but I still felt that something was missing. What I was truly missing was peace in my own spirit. I loved that fact that others came to me for help – that made me feel important – but I needed the same help for myself. I’m not there yet, but I’m pointed in the right direction.      

Reflection

Nouwen spoke of solitude as one of the movements toward union with God. I agree that solitude is what every Christian need when he is called upon to help a lost soul or brother/sister who has fallen, but when does solitude lead to pride? Solitude is taking pride in knowing that you are able to amuse yourself, take care of yourself, and be at peace with yourself.  Many people become prideful, unknowingly, of his or her ability to have a sense of peace. This type of person lives a programmed life focused on solitude in his or her own spirit. A wife who never argues or shows emotion over negative experiences with her husband can cause more harm than good.  I believe that solitude is important for counseling, but when does the counselor let her hair down and be the emotional human being that God created her to be?

 When does hospitality lead to destructive burden bearing? Having a sense of solitude and expressing it, opens the door for some unexpected revelations. When people feel as though they have the attention of listening ear and access to an empty space, they expect that the person is able to handle anything thrown at them. There are some problems and concerns that can lie dormant in the counselor waiting to be awakened by the counselee. It doesn’t matter how spiritually mature one may be; he is still human and has human problems.  It’s like that alcoholic or addict who is now clean, but given the right circumstance, he may relapse. These two questions need to be seriously considered when counseling.

Action

As a Christian, if I’m called to be a counselor, it is detrimental that I come to a healthy closure to that problem that led me to Christ. When one can remember the past and what led him to Christ, he can then pinpoint the place where solitude to reside. What led me to Christ was an episode when my emotions got me in trouble concerning two women and a baby. So solitude for me should have started in my attitude and in my relationship with others. My destructive attitude came from me not loving myself and my relational communication deficiency stems from my childhood. Those are the two most important things in cultivating a healthy relationship with God. I don’t care how many scriptures one memorizes or how many secular disciplines about psychology he tries to master; if those two areas in one’s life are defective, he cannot be an effective Christian or counselor. I truly agree with Nouwen when he stated that “the more we understand (and not simply deny) our inner struggles, the more fully we will be able to embrace a prayerful and genuine life that is also open to other’s needs” (Nouwen, back flap).

By Andre L. Powell

PACO 4-MAT book review